This Friday's ramble is a sorry state of affairs - it is one week today since Cassie passed away, and I find myself looking for her everywhere. I hear her walking about in the house at night, and I feel her pottering along beside me on my morning walks.
Grief is a strange beast, and the balm for it is difficult to describe, but the prescription seems to involve a lot of walking around with no direction intended and no destination in mind. I wander aimlessly in wild leafy places, peering into hedgerows and looking up at the sky through dense foliage for long intervals. Occasionally, very occasionally, I take a picture.
This week, there were bumble bees in the globe thistles, delicate crab spiders in the echinacea and cottontails dancing among the marigolds. Our local swallows are lining up on telephone wires and readying themselves to journey, and all the starlings are wearing their winter stars - it is cool at sunrise these days, and there is early migration in the air.
In time, my sense of the grace and grandeur of these small precious events will return, and my gratitude in having been blessed with such a magnificent loving companion will outweigh my sadness at losing her. In the meantime, I must be patient.
Grief is a strange beast, and the balm for it is difficult to describe, but the prescription seems to involve a lot of walking around with no direction intended and no destination in mind. I wander aimlessly in wild leafy places, peering into hedgerows and looking up at the sky through dense foliage for long intervals. Occasionally, very occasionally, I take a picture.
This week, there were bumble bees in the globe thistles, delicate crab spiders in the echinacea and cottontails dancing among the marigolds. Our local swallows are lining up on telephone wires and readying themselves to journey, and all the starlings are wearing their winter stars - it is cool at sunrise these days, and there is early migration in the air.
In time, my sense of the grace and grandeur of these small precious events will return, and my gratitude in having been blessed with such a magnificent loving companion will outweigh my sadness at losing her. In the meantime, I must be patient.
3 comments:
Dear Cate, I keep thinking of you and the gentle way you stayed with Cassie until it was truly her time to go. As you walked gently with her through those days, her spirit is walking gently with you now.
She'll always be by your side.
Love the spider.
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